Adult Adolescence in Full Swing

Italian-Canadian parents see resurgence of boomerang kids who move back home

Maria Gentile wouldn't exactly say she minds the idea of having her two adult children around the house for a few more years.
Like most parents, her and husband Francesco want to help their children succeed in their goals, even if it means placing their own dreams on hold for a little while longer.
"Maybe it's a part of our culture, a part of being Italian," she says. "My husband and I want to make sure our kids have a solid foot on the ground before they get out on their own."
Although Italians are known for encouraging "longer gestation periods" the Gentile family is just one example of a trans-cultural phenomenon taking centre stage in Canadian society.
A rapidly growing number of young adults or "twenty some-things" are choosing to delay their departure from the nest so to speak.
They are commonly referred to as adult adolescence, or boomerang kids, and now rank in the millions.
Numbers gathered by the Canadian Census of 2001, show the percentage of young adults still living with their parents has increased steadily since the early 1980's.
Of the 3.8 million adults between the ages of 20 and 29, 41 per cent still live with mom and dad. This is a significant jump of 27 per cent since 1981.
Gentile admits young people today are far different from her own generation. Of course, she says, no two generations are expected to be the same. As the years pass, trends evolve and society manages to evolve along with it.
However, Gentile says what is truly significant with young adults is their somewhat calculated outlook on life.
"I was 23-years-old when I got married," she says. "I was barely out of university and was out on my own starting my life. Sure, money was important but having a family was important still."
She says in contrast to her age group, young adults now have the freedom to focus more on themselves, or rather, pursue what they feel makes them happy.
"I once had a conversation with a friend of mine about this sort of thing and she managed to really put this situation into perspective," she says. "My friend calls this generation "generation mine" because young people are more concerned with what they want."
Although it would appear this cohort has "got it together" the statistics presented above suggest youth are depending more on their parents to provide a security blanket while they sort things out.
Brent Barry, assistant professor of sociology at the University of Toronto, says there are numerous reasons why young adults choose to stay home for an extended period of time.
Besides being a cultural practice by immigrant groups, or the result of a bad economic climate, Barry says remaining home can be part psychological and part materialistic.
"Some might suggest that many young people are undergoing a midlife crisis in their twenties," Barry says. "In fact, this phenomenon has been termed a "quarter life crisis."
Barry says in the past, remaining home was usually an indication of hard economic times, but adds this is not the underlying cause today.
The pursuit of individual happiness and the idea of accomplishing one's objectives can be mentally or emotionally straining, especially when an individual is unsure of what exactly those goals are.
With choice, comes indecision, and the hesitation by some young people to engage in any long term commitments.
"For people our age, I think the biggest challenge is finding a suitable career," Gentile's 26-year-old son Antonio says. "There is this pressure of finding a partner and getting married before we're too old, but I am striving for my goals and been successful on many fronts."
Already a university graduate, Gentile's son is preparing for a second bout with academia this September, commencing teacher's college at the University of Western Ontario in London.
Gentile took a "year off" after obtaining his first degree to determine what exactly it was he wanted to do with his life. He decided before taking any further steps he would work for a year and sort things out.
"The idea of going to teacher's college has always been in the back of my mind," he says. "But I took a year off because I was sick of school and needed to rest."
For him, going back to school and furthering his education is a necessary step before settling down. Securing a career and putting a little money away is the logical thing to do, even if it means staying home longer.
Barry says although the Canadian market is not necessarily experiencing an "economic downturn" jobs are perhaps not as dependable as they once were, hence prompting young people to be discriminating when choosing a career.
Essentially, he suggests adult adolescence want a stab at their dream jobs before taking that final leap into marriage and ultimately adulthood.
"Economic changes in the structure and stability of work have created greater instability of jobs, making it harder for young people to establish a steady career, the platform for starting a family," he says.
Another, more prevalent reason why young adults are staying home, is the over emphasis on materialism by society.
"I think an over emphasis on materialism by society is a problem," Barry says. "The easy availability of credit has produced a generation of young people with credit card problems, requiring assistance from parents to help subsidize their consumer aspirations."
Barry says this does not necessarily mean parents pay their children's bills outright. Rather, parents subsidize their children's materialistic lifestyle by footing the cost of what he calls the "enablers of consumer culture" like telephones, cable and computer access.
Becoming accustomed to "free" technological or household conveniences may be too good a thing to live without. By avoiding the cost of such items, individuals can focus their energy towards living out a preferred material existence.
"I'm not going anywhere that is worse than what I got right now," 26-year-old lab technician Dave Scandolo says. "For me to move out depends on many factors such as a stable job, cost, location and other things that come with living on your own."
Scandolo admits he would like to live on his own and has come close to taking that leap it in the past. However, he says because there is no real pressure from his parents to move out, the motivation for him to leave is low.
"If you're not forced to do something, you'll procrastinate until the last minute," he says. You might talk to people about it, get their opinion and work out all the angles, but if it doesn't need to be done today then why rush? You want the best for yourself so you look longer, collect more money, and enjoy your current situation."
As Canada moves well into the 21st century, a whole new breed of young people is taking the centre stage of mainstream culture.
In contrast to their parents, young adults are far more interested in securing individual happiness, which in many cases entails material success. Family and the concept of a household is quickly becoming a casualty to the expectations of the future.
In all, the same sense of urgency to accomplish one's goals exists between the current generation and that of perhaps Maria Gentile's. However, the difference now is the bar is much higher and may take a lot longer to reach.

Publication Date: 2003-07-27
Story Location: http://tandemnews.com/viewstory.php?storyid=2982