Culture Vulture

My turn to be rude

OK. MY feelings are hurt. All week I have been treated like I don't exist, or like the object of somebody's resentment. I was raised to be polite, to be considerate of others and keep my body fluids and diseases to myself. I am no Miss Manners, but lately I am thinking the whole of society needs a course in basic etiquette. Unless you go to the GAP or Red Lobster who have rigorous rules regarding the attitude of their employees, you are almost guaranteed to be shot a dirty look by a waiter or a clerk.
This kind of employee has never heard the axiom "if you are going to do something do it well." It is like they have been hypnotized by countless episodes of Friends into believing that they are too GOOD to be working and should be sitting around in a coffee shop on pogey being sarcastic to each other all day.
OK. After months of biting my tongue it is MY turn to be rude.
Why do you have to pick your nose on the subway? Haven't you heard of a Kleenex? I think streetcar drivers should keep a box of Kleenex to hand out to sneezing, coughing, nose-picking TTC riders who seem to think it is OK to share the magic of their nasal spray with others. Same thing goes with spitting on the street.
Also, what's with cab drivers these days? Every time you get in a cab, they are too busy talking into their cell phone to pay attention to where they are going. I can't believe the number of times I've gotten into a cab and then spent most of the ride wondering if he sees that kid on a bike, or if he is going to miss the next turn while he yacks away. Shouldn't this activity be against the law? It is nice to know that your safety is the last thing on the driver's mind when you get into a car. Like spraying your germs all over someone else, this kind of carelessness is no less rude than ATTEMPTED MURDER.
Then there are those things that you used to take for granted, but you just can't expect anymore. For instance, in 1996 or so, you didn't have to BEG a waiter for a glass of water to go with your meal. It would just appear on the table. What's the deal with that? It's not like there is a shortage of water in this country. I think you are not supposed to irritate the waiters with unnecessary requests or they might get tired or irritated or something.
Then there is this kind of attitude that you get from waiters and clerks sometimes that just reeks of their resentment of having to cater to you at all. The other day, a friend and I received such a glower of hatred from a waiter (all we did was give him our order and there were no substitutions or anything, I swear!) that you would have thought we had ruined his whole life! Like it's not our fault you're not a famous poet, actor, musician or whatever!
Also, certain clerks have an almost passive-aggressive way of making sure they don't have to deal with your "energy" while you are shopping in their store. Seconds after you walk into the store, which is often not commission based, you are attacked by a person who says something like "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR!!!". You would have thought you had been caught sneaking around in their underwear drawer. The idea behind that is to get you out of the store as fast as possible so they can go back to listening to the radio or talking to their friends lurking around the counter.
I find this begging for service also extends to other basic things which used to be par for the course when it came to ordinary experiences. For instance, cab drivers used to just automatically write you a receipt after a cab ride. Nowadays, you have to ask for the receipt, endure the sighing and rolling of the eyes, watch them hand you a blank receipt, give it back and ask him to fill it out with the amount and date. Like what is the big inconvenience with handing out a receipt for a service? Has REVENUE CANADA looked into this lately?
Friends of mine have suggested that people have become ruder since the events of September 11th, 2001; that the rudeness is a symptom of the hopelessness and despair that has permeated the air since then. I don't buy that. I think you have a choice. You can be a hero, even if it does mean just smiling and saying please and thank you to a stranger, or you can add to the evil that is already there by not giving a shit.

Publication Date: 2002-10-06
Story Location: http://tandemnews.com/viewstory.php?storyid=1820